One month plus plus jor lu...

Specially dedicated to my bf, Laikokkeong :)

So, we have been together for a month plus plus “jor”. I really have seriously thought of staying single and mingle around for at least half a year before committing myself to another relationship. I have also told myself for the zillion times ever not to allow myself to fall hopelessly in love ever again. I have even been contemplating to only start a relationship when I think I have finally got all over Uncle Wong…I wanted to make it fair for my another half to own me completely. It sucks when you are with someone whom you may love dearly and that person actually still stuck with the ex shadow and issues which will make you insecure at all times.

Liking you at the very first place is not something I choose to be, the feelings just came very naturally and very much uncontrollable. But then, I have chosen not to avoid the fact that I really like you and decided to take risks being with you. Yes, I have qualms in believing and committing again in this thing called “relationship”, I feared so much of hurting you and you hurting me as well. I have uncertainties too that Uncle Wong has not been totally removed from my mind and life and it is close to impossible to have someone erased from one’s life completely. It could be the same to you towards your ex. You may also have her crossing over your mind every now and then, right? Some more you have taken almost a year to recover from the hurtful break up and that also not completely healed, right? I am still struggling and learning every single day to allow myself to love without cautions as like my all time fav-phrase…Let’s keep “love” as simple as ever…Do not dilute the purest out of it. But we humans are the complicated ones and through us, our acts and actions have cause love to have its complexities.

I won't give you any promises but I will try my best to do my part like what you have been doing all this while to make me happy...

Hugs,
Me with doubts still.

This was actually written on 07 MAY 2009 and was kept as draft on my workplace pc dekstop until today. I'm a slacker in almost everything. :) Yes, certain things never change.