Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Can’t agree more with this. I tend to miss and often caught myself thinking about him at most times. That feeling makes me want to be with him and well, I do wish I could be with him every single day. My bf is back for the weekend and as usual, happy moments passed way too fast and now he’s back to KL again. Sigh…Knowing that I won’t be seeing him for almost two weeks as he is scheduled for showroom duty this coming Sunday really makes me feel terribly depressing.

I really thought of making an impulsive decision to get myself transfer to KL so I could be with him. In fact, I was offered for a promotion and needed to be transferred to Maxis Centre Sunway in KL. I rejected that because I’m financially tight down with my commitments and also its way too sudden. To be honest, I really did scare myself for having such a thought. Luckily it is only contemplation and not an immediate action. If I were to do so, it has proves something significant which is, I really really in love with this guy which I try not to. I’m not trying to go against my own feelings but I really fear of the downfall. The broken heart, the tears, the scars…I never wanted to go through that heartbreak again!

I am too afraid to lose with what I have got now which is him. Too afraid to love unconditionally that I will get hurt in the end. I know love shouldn’t be this way but I am just too afraid that I may fail in this relationship too…My inner guts is eating me inside out. I don’t want to be involved in any fruitless relationship anymore as it is a total time wastage, I also know that sometimes things may not work out exactly we wanted it to but I really wish I could find someone who worth being together.

A MMS my bf sent last two weeks, spot the fading rainbow? Why every beautiful things is so short-lived, huh? And because of that, we tend to appreciate more, don't we?