I need a way out

It seems lately I don’t have the keenness to blog. When I signed in to my blog entry, my mind just went blank and don’t know what to write about even though I have interesting stories that have taken place in my life from the very last update on this blog.

I hardly got to sleep last night. Was on the phone for a while with Eric, having him on the other line talking about how he got his car crashed and the house warming party at his friend’s condo I have missed. Basically I was already drop dead tired but mum was heard to be quarrelling with dad on the phone as well. As far as I am concerned, dad cashes out RM15k and headed up to Genting. Big fuck this time. Sorry…but I really feel it that way. I don’t understand what is exactly running on his mind but there’s no short cut in life in getting rich. Gamble is so out from the picture…why can’t he get the whole idea?

I really don’t know what to say about my family, I am not the sole bread winner in the family but my parents always thought that I earn more than anyone else and I should really contribute more to them. In actuality, I wanted to. I wanted to offer within my means but I am no wonder woman. I do have my own stuff I need to take care of; I do have a wish list of things I wanted to get for myself. Budget is already really tight for this year and in fact this month, I have overspent more than RM1k of my June paid out. I have never encountered such financial problem before; even if I do…I always have Uncle Wong to turn to. It really takes a lot to be independent wholly and I fuckingly hate being broke and unable to spend on stuff whenever I wanted to. There are a few, who offer to help, bf, grandma and even some guy friends. LOL. I turned down their offers…I sort of wanted to settle this matter myself. Maybe I should get some part time jobs or a job change perhaps?

I am feeling extremely pressurized. The latest update, I am not going to Bangkok jor, but I’m still applying for my annual leaves. I desperately need a break from work, I don’t even care if I have to sit at home and rot. Apart from the bad stuff that keeps happening in my life so rapidly...the only best thing remains is my bf. Hahaha. Awesome. Enough said.