Broken for him

The break up has really left me bleeding out all my confidence and dependence in a relationship. I succeeded for not calling Uncle Wong though I wanted so much to talk to him to tell him how much I miss him after being tipsy every time I went out drinking. I realized under the influence of alcohol, I did not hold back those feelings I still have or left for him. I have let go entirely what my heart wanted to feel and I think I really have put too much in the relationship resulting I’m still trapped within his shadows.

There is none for a single day that he does not cross over my mind…I wanted to control so much on my feelings and my emotions but I failed. Maybe I hope so much for a fulfilling relationship with him than ending our relationship. It’s just out from my reach to chase what I strongly believe in and to hang on what I thought it’s real, and very soon and very much…every thing, my thoughts and my rational moments just collapsed and ended there. Leaving me battling alone and confusing myself whether am I right or wrong the moment I made that decision which is to let go…

My mind tells me that it is so god-damn right of a decision I have made but my heart tells another thing. Why love has to be this complicating or I am the complicated one?