When the expectations failed us, a crash is expecting to be met.

Maybe I really over-reacted that day. After putting down all the emotions, I felt almost like a madcap girlfriend who is trying to force her boyfriend to listen and follow to her demands obediently. Even when he apologized, I know he just said it to avoid triggering my emotions to go berserk again.

But seriously I am hurt by his words and actions. All this while, I held my head so high up about myRichard for being the best boyfriend that I am ever had. Everything seems to be so fine; could almost describe as fairytale-perfect and I can never project him that he would talk to me like how he did that afternoon. It was unpredicted to be that hurtful until all the crying, shouting, frustrations flopped in. This is not what I really wanted in a relationship; I am expecting us to be healthy couple that hardly argues. We were doing well at the very beginning but collapsed in the midst. I know it is a norm thing, as all couples in the early stage are always at their sweetest simply because they have yet to discover the real self of the other half and learn about him/her inside out. And now that, we both do.

All I am. Being a crybaby, a demanding person, an ill-tempered girlfriend who tries to seek for endless attention from her boyfriend, have an issue with my mum, drool when I sleep and snore intermittently, lusty and dirty-minded, rude with lingual profanity, stubborn, etc etc etc it’s going to be endless…and as I list my flaws down, I begin to realize that I am the reason why he is reacting at such ways. BUT, he is imperfect too.

All he is. He made me beg him for “da boom boom” session and out of 100 promises, only 5% will be delivered. Mr. Nice Guy…but sometimes he just made me feel, to every single girl also he is that soft spoken and caring. A filial son to his parents but he is also a strict elder brother to his siblings. As months to come, he is hiding so much of stuff reluctantly to share with me. My instinct told me so.

Sigh. I felt we are both going nowhere. He is just too occupied with his career and sometimes, how I wished; he will just manage his time well and spend quality time with me. I do not need a boyfriend to be physically there while doing his own stuff and neglecting me alone in his room. I rather much to have him beside me in the bed and I can hug him to sleep. I feel crappy and all alone even though I know he is just right outside the bedroom door. I am feeling worse about the both of us. I seriously wish for a wake up call before we are hitting a slump.