Im sad.

How do you define love? Or how can we maintain love as at beginning we seek for it? I seem to lost it. I have tried my very best in every relationship to save it from sinking but over the time and experiences I pulled through, i suck. Suck to fulfil their needs or wants as a goodgirlfriend.

I put on my best make up today. Eagerly to go out for lunch and movie catch up with myRichard. But it ended up sourish. I broke down in tears, i vented out my frustrations by hurting myself, i yelled and screamed frantically in his car. All these because he shouted at me, used nasty words on me... even if I did nothing wrong. What has come between us?

Why is it hurt so badly till i behaved such way? What damages have I done to our relationship? I seriously have no idea. Maybe it is not meant for my understanding. But over the year, we both changed. He has changed, so do i. I no longer rest assure if his feelings towards me are as the strong as what we first had, but definitely the ways he used to talk to me or the ways he used to care about me are different. And my tears just wont stop dripping from my face, even at this very minute.


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