19 ~ 21 February 2010 [ Cameron Trip with loved ones]

I had a helluva fun time with O.U.R group in Cameron Highlands for the weekend. Superbly in love with the BBQ session along with the great weather. Not to mention, the great company of friends that have continuously handling me with much intensive care. Oh yes, my emotion and heart are damn delicate nowadays…ever since I got dumped.


Me posing with KF. We nicknamed him, "Bosco" and he finds it annoying. :p



The chaps are only serve as background. Hahaha.


1/3 of the O.U.R.group and I am not even from the group until I came back from Cameron. :)


The great company of friends


BBQ session at Honeymoon Villa, Brinchang


TJ & Me & David Chin


Fabian & Baby (Emery's baby shihtzu) & Me again


XOXO. Hugs people~


Michael Chan! My gossip husband...Hahaha with Suzanne


:)

So, my this year CNY isn't that pathetic as I thought it would be just like last year. Thanks thanks thanks for dropping by into my life...ALL OF YOU! Hugs...

2010's Valentine

Haven’t been updating my blog since last week when Chinese New Year started. A truly hectic week with so much of loves…Families and great friends everywhere. At a first thought, I was a bit disturbed having Valentine’s and Chinese New Year First Day on an exact same day. I was imagining how worse it could be…not having a lover/partner to celebrate together. Flowers, candlelight dinner, lovey dovey messages,family time with angpows,etc. I was expecting for so much for this year Valentine’s actually and obviously I hit the ground flat with the sudden break up. But there are little surprises that lit up my wrecked up mood…


Camwhore-ing with the surprises. Very very much loved.


Someone passed me this bouquet of roses...telling me that he picked them somewhere by the roadside. He even told me...this is the lamest thing he has ever done before...RIGHT! So, am I the lamest person on earth then?


This bouquet of 60 red roses was sent to my workplace on a day before Valentine's by a friend. Not a close one though but he told me he has always asked me to open up my heart to the people who care and love me and I should always believe that there is always someone around, and I should not be rejecting him or them...

Among all these surprises, I spent my single Valentine's with Michael at Alaii. Good dinner with great companion. :) Shared a lot on our broken relationships. Gained handful of great advises from the wise man. Haha. :) A truly super goooood friend that has been there to pick me up from my fall.


Hello peeps, this is Michael Chan. HAHAHA

I was told he's somewhere around but i didn't manage to catch a glance of him. Damn stupid, huh? He is no longer worth my time to think about him but somehow someway...i didn't manage to let go of him yet. Love is never fair, right?

In between...it's still the same

I felt sappy still. To miss and to think of him still, which I know I should not live with the moments we used to have together. Let bygone be bygone, I am not expecting for a patch up nor am I expecting anything to happen in between us. It’s just all about the feelings. I think I still love him dearly. What I have for him…the feelings…still remains. I did try to deny and eliminate him off but I can never lie to myself about my feelings.

One last word.

Annual dinner at KL Convention Center sucks. Basically, the whole motive of going down KL is to get back my iPhone which I did. I didn’t get to meet up with him, I requested KF to get it for me. My heart was broken. To see what I shouldn’t have. To look into the photos of that girl in his room, the place where I used to love being at. My status has been replaced. That’s pretty fast and scary too. My heart got stabbed for so many times by the same person whom I still love dearly. Have I not entirely conscious of the truthful yet hurtful reality now? I do. I have all the answers with me.

Baby, if you are still reading my blog and by how much you hated me to post this up to let everyone know how you hurt my feelings and how you betrayed my trust, I just wanted you to know that I have been really serious loving you, and I could and would sacrifice my everything to make things right again…I will hold my temper well and not losing them on you, I will never ever do the things you hated me to do anymore. But no chance was given to me. Nil. All the little things you have shared about, all the big things we have done about…seem to be so bogus. I hope I don’t need to see you anymore in my life. Or at least for the moment, I am feeling this caused of the hurt. I desperately am craving for a shoulder to lean on and to cry on.

Assigned task: Give more and receive less

I have been sick for two days. Diarrhea, tummy discomfort and even caught up with fever. I was yearning so much for someone to take good care of me when I was sick. So much of it or better still, just be right beside me to keep me feel safe. But there is no one and I am used to it, even though if I were still attached with my ex, he won’t be able to be physically there too as what we had was distance. Is it true when girls are sick, they tend to be more “manja”?

I am certainly one lucky biatch. Heehee. To have someone to drive me to the clinic and accompany me for dinner, to have plenty of phone calls and sms- asking me if I am alright and offer what they could to aid me. Damn touched wei… who needs a boyfriend now when you can have the whole world caring for you? I hope I don’t need to try too hard to get and make someone to be mine, I should be found by him instead of the other way round. But being a pathetic and demanding girlfriend like I am always, I think the comment posted by Guardian is real helpful.

“L.O.V.E. : do not frown if you are not getting what you are expecting, you will never get enough of it. Give what you have for it is limitless.”

From now onwards, I will give all out. Okay, a bit exaggerating. Well, I will be as much as possible to offer what within my means to people around me and travel extra miles to provide more for those I love and appreciate dearly. It is never an easy task. To give more than you receive wor.. Mind me that there might be times, I may be off track a bit. Hahaha. I am a needy person actually but but but I definitely hope I could change for good.

Empty Handed

Sometimes when the emptiness creeps into my soul at late nights or the moments I caught myself alone in the room, you wish so badly that the shitty feelings will just go away. However, the more you tried to fight against it, the more you going to fall into that slump. I tried to sound chirpy and jovial when I called my current ex-bf to arrange the time and place for me getting back my iPhone on this coming weekend in KL. I can tell you frankly…it is not easy. I wished I don’t need to make that call and to listen to his voice once more.

I looked really silly. I made KF to drive me all the way to his house to get back my some of my clothes last evening after work. When we reached his house, I saw his mum sitting outside the pouch then I quickly asked KF to speed off. KF looked rather confused threw me questions like, “You cheated his money is it? You stole something from him? You played with his feelings”…I keep shaking my head and KF asked, “Then why are you so afraid to go and just take back your stuff?” Perhaps, I haven’t prepared myself for this or I just don’t want to face the fact. We headed back home empty handed.

During my slump, there are so many great friends around lending me their hands and offering me shoulders but most importantly is giving me their time as much as they could, to handle me with much care and attention. I can’t ask for more for these friends who have contributed so much so much to me. And it is just me for not being thankful to them and still keeping myself in the bad auras.