Day Two

Still find myself struggling to let go of you from my mind for a moment. I succeeded not crying on Day One but I lost it today. I cried for 3 times in a row. My period came today, as usual, i have pretty bad menstrual cramps. Luckily it wasn't much of pain this time, i managed to ease the pain myself by taking ponstan. I found out that i miss you so much. I miss the "you" who would start cracking jokes to make me laughed and how much you used to say how you wanted to assist me and to comfort me and how bad you felt for not being able to be with me and to take care of me. I miss you and i seriously do.

I came home at 5 in the morning, later around 8 plus i need to be at work. I really don't like what am I doing now but it seems there are no choices anymore because my babyboy will not care for me anymore. Once again, the thought of ending my life triggered me but I guess I can still take it. I love you still. So much.

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