The Meet Up (with the parents) OMG

The weekend spent is somehow magical…28 hours of bf companionship to do all sort of stuff. That’s really sweet to have both actually fork out whatever time has permitted us to be together. Like I have said, I don’t mind staying at home doing completely nothing as long as I have him beside me. I have been waiting for the weekend to come anxiously as I haven’t been seeing my bf for the last two weeks and the feeling (missing someone terribly) is so unexplainably awful. Finally, he’s back to Ipoh for 28 hours long.

I brought him home without a proper introduction to my parents. LOL. Still need some time for them to digest on my previous broken relationship but I believe time would allow them to know my bf better. For better causes, I don’t plan to tell my parents entirely about this new guy because I just don’t want them to feel that I am hopping into fruitless relationship all the time. Furthermore, it is only a month of togetherness so it’s still a pretty early stage for anything to be affirmed.

He brought me to his parents as well, we went for breakfast together and it was some sorts of surprise meet up so I am not mentally-prepared at all. Besides, I used to go for breakfast on most Sundays with Uncle Wong’s family and now I need to re-adapt to a new family culture. I am afraid I could not deal with that. The way that I carried myself around has been accepted by Uncle Wong’s family but it may be not to my current bf’s family. Sigh. On the brighter side, bf doesn’t come back KL every single day so things might be just alright. (Crossing fingers)

Like my usual self, I doubt a lot again. What if this relationship turns sour like those previous ones...what if one day I just stop loving this guy anymore, what if he has done something terribly bad to the relationship, what if we found each other not suitable and not meant to be together right in the end, what if this and what if that...Too many rubbish questions awaiting for stupid answers, huh? I guess the most that I could rationalize and think of is...I am happy, truly happy, being with him.

Laikokkeong,
Thanks for being a wonderful you and I wish along the way, we will be as happy as before. From the start right till the end, be it we will end up being together or be it we will go on separate ways...I only wanted to cherish every second spent with you. I want you to be the every reason I put a smile to my face. :) Guess what, I enjoy reading your love letters written by your first ex. Hahaha. Funny but somehow those feelings she has trying to convey to you were once so true-felt and so beautifully written in chinese. Love the breaking up letter too...Hahaha. Not to forget your teenage pictures that you have shared and thank God I only get to know you now with your current look. Kekeke. However, the most crucial point is I wanted to thank you whole heartedly for giving me the "heartbeat" that I have longed for.
:)



His "kan-chan" look that I like alots. Sorry bf, that I have uploaded this photo of yours without seeking for your permission first and since you already put this as your profile pic in Facebook, I expect you to have actually quite like this photo, hor? LOL

The Difference of the Past and also the Present

It is so funny that yesterday Uncle Wong rang me up and called me by my full name, Yew Carmen…The calling has been so stranger-like. I replied with his full name as well, Wong Kin Foong. I used to call his full name when I wanted to tease him over something and vice versa but now the calling of full name seems very bizarre to me. As much as I could remember, ever since the break up he has never bother to call me in order just to ensure if I am coping well with my life after moving out from his place and so forth and this time he called simply because he needs a favor from me. As expected always. The funniest part is I dreamt about Uncle Wong yesterday night right after I received that phone call from him in the evening. In the dream, he was sent to jail and I was so heartbroken to see him in such condition. When I woke up realizing those are just dreams, I laughed myself silly to have actually dreamed what I just dreamt about. However, it has been quite a while Uncle Wong visited me in my dreams. Not happy also geh...

Yayyy, tomorrow I will get to meet my bf already. In fact, last week I was in KL and spent a weekend with him at his crib. This time, he would be taking public transport back to Ipoh to meet me. Being in a distance relationship is not something I wished for as I am pretty much a person who enjoys clinging to her partner at most times, even if staying at home doing completely nothing, I don’t and I won’t mind...as long as I know he’s there for me, be it physically and mentally. Even a hug of comfort also need to wait ah...Sigh Sigh Sigh

Just like before, I enjoy every moment of spent with Uncle Wong- waking up real early in the morning to wait for him to go work so I could lock the doors and arm the house alarm for him, waiting for him to get home from work, having dinner together with the family, spending time chasing those HK TVB drama series, going to bed together and sometimes if he’s in a good mood, we would do some pillow talks and the routine would just go on and on repeating by itself. I missed those moments but I am not seeing that as a loss. But an one way ticket to a whole new chapter in life- which eventually leads me to him, my bf. Can't say much as my bf is still very new to me...what I know now is I am happier than before. I may not get back those moments with Uncle Wong but I know I will have more happy moments being with my present bf and more to that, the feelings are eventually growing deeper each day. The only thing that pull down the happiness moment a little is I don't get to see him as often as I wanted to...I don't have him to accompany me for dinner or movies whenever I want and feel like it. I can't have him to be by my side physically. Sigh...Anyway, I am sure one fine day I will have all the time I want being with him. I hope he feels the same way too...It will be super "sien" if only oneself feels this way as it takes two to tango, right?

I'm very happy being with him all the time, those sort of happiness are so unreal...It's like you are too happy and you just lost at words in describing those happy feelings...I can't stop laughing whenever I'm with this guy. He's not a funny and outspoken type but I just can't explain why I laugh so much being with him. He must have think that I'm high on drugs...No, I'm not. Hehehe...




I wanted to upload some other pics with him doing the peace sign while holding my stuff toy but I haven't got the guts yet and he doesn't allow me...Hahahaha

Silly but happy

As expected from every single friend of mine. I am attached again. I was wondering how to break the news to public without showing sign of jumping too soon into a new relationship again but I guess when it happened, it just happens. I have written enough of excruciating phase that I have endured for the past two months, I really have enough of those restless nights sleeping alone and heart wrenching moment whenever Uncle Wong crosses my mind. I love him and I still do but I also believe as time passes by, these feelings will not grow stronger anymore than before…it will only left to be faded away because to conclude on the break up, both has thought of the consequences carefully and decided to end it rightfully. Although I never have a chance to talk to him seriously on how both felt about the current “us” who have parted, I could see and feel that we have swallowed the hurt and moved on with new lover we find comfort in.

Note: Not entirely moved on but gradually, alright?

Actually I have been drafting this blog entry for almost a week already hoping I could find the precise words to say about “him”, my bf. Yet, I still have the hardest time ever to tell how we gotten to know each other and getting together as a couple. It seems he just appears out of nowhere and we have this special chemistry towards each other, the next thing that happened was a sequence of heavy-partying and pubs hopping in Ipoh which followed by a tipsy night drive back to KL and a clear-headed evening drive back to Ipoh. The many many days and nights of sms-ing and phone calls but the confirmation of being in a truly coupleship happened at the hotel’s balcony in Penang. It was so silly but I do remember every bits of it. We are distant by a 2 hours car drive on highway and we only get to meet during the weekends and that also have to depends but it’s good to take risks as you will never what you will truly get by the end of the day. Of course, I wouldn’t want history repeats on its own…hence I dare not to hope much. Really feel afraid falling in and out of love for so many times and Uncle Wong has really put a severe damage into core values of honesty and trust in relationship.

Well, I know the description about my bf sounds very confusing and our story is told in a mass of mystification. Let it be that way as I believe I am not in a conscious state of mind when typing this now…Yes, I’m in love once again. I wish I could share more but I am just too sleepy to continue…hehehe…I will have more to tell, no worries... :)

The first step away

I did not get back with Uncle Wong, don’t get me wrong. Although it has been always a wish to have our paths cross again but I know it deeply, the word forever and honesty have already sunk into the deep sea of infidelity. Love without the purpose to be eternally and love without honesty, it has no values to be called true love already. But in reality, how many can meet their real true love and accept your partner’s flaws or imperfections without a single moment of doubt?

It has already been two months plus we have parted, I finally met Uncle Wong in Zenzo last Wednesday by coincidence. All this while, I worried so much on how my reaction would be if he suddenly turned up in front of me… I thought I would try my best to hide away from him and cried at one corner or I felt very shitty till I wanted to leave the place almost immediately but I didn’t. I smiled at him. I furthermore did walk up to him and whisper to his ears before leaving that I loved and hated him so much. I still got couple of things at his place which I wanted back badly. My comforter set…my yoga mat, my Motorola V6 pc cable and hands free…I also finally got them all back on Saturday morning. Considered that I won’t have any valid reason or excuse to call him anymore…

Be it by fate, I bumped into Uncle Wong again at Barroom on Saturday night again. We smiled and when his eyes met mine, I don’t feel the pain that much anymore. It hurts a little but I am feeling alright. I realized I am accepting the fact that he’s no longer my dearest. I also don’t want to waste any time even a second to feel lost and upset at something there’s no longer holds any substance…I may not have move on entirely but at least, it means something. I have taken my first step away from the painful period of time.

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I am blogging now at "his" place and so many things I would like to share but I just don't know where should I start. I wanted to capture so much of my feelings right now and put it all in words but I know I can't deliver much of the exact feelings and emotions I am enduring now...I guess the painful moment has finally ended.
:)