"January"

You know there is this song called “January” sang by an Indonesian artiste, Glenn Fredly. Speak so much all out of a sudden.

Berat bebanku
Meninggalkanmu
Separuh nafas jiwaku
Sirna...

Bukan salahmu
Apa dayaku
Mungkin benar cinta sejati
Tak berpihak
Pada kita

Reff:
Kasihku
Sampai disini kisah kita
Jangan tangisi keadaannya
Bukan karena kita berbeda

Dengarkan
Dengarkan lagu.....lagu ini
Melodi rintihan hati ini
Kisah kita berakhir di Januari
Selamat tinggal kisah sejatiku
Wow....pergilah

I met Uncle Wong four times in a week already. Twice in person, twice in dreams. Funny dreams though. His friends told me that I am the right person, just which things will and could be somehow better if I were to stay and start afresh with him. Who possibly could do so? Well, at least I know I can’t possibly accept my other half to hurt me in such a way. He WAS a right guy at a very right time.

I have a short talk with him face to face the other night. Plan chat with boring topics and massive naggings again… There are still some certain feelings holding us back that make us talk awkwardly even though we have broken up in January this year (which is why this song speaks so much to me)

What makes me feel more awkward is the way he was looking into my eyes that night…his eyes seem telling me that, what he has for me was real and even until now, be it I am already attached with my current bf or he has been secretly engaged in a new relationship…what we have shared, what we have endured, what we have fought about…we really have given so much of patience and everything with him is real. Even those lies are real…they were told to protect my feelings. If only I choose to see his love this way, maybe I would opt to stay.

But life is that contradictory, it was wrong to love like that. I am not that drunk in being in love, I guess. The rightest thing to be done about us is "breaking up" because I realized I was too tired to love Uncle Wong in the way he wanted me to and he was too tired as well to try loving me in the way I demanded for. With my current boyfriend, I found something in spectacular...that love is not a compromise. You just love because you simply want to and it is unexplainable. And when you love, you would try doing a lot of things for the other half to be happy being with you.