I'm such a fool.

I woke up this morning and still I'm crying. What has gone wrong here? Why wanted to ruin those happy feelings I have about us? I don't know what can I get from you anymore. Even you turned up at my doorstep last night, I don't feel touched like I used to. I feel so suffocated. So wrong and sorry for myself. I thought I finally deserve someone better after what I have gone through. But it is not a real thing. What we have at first and what is left for us now?

What have I done not enough this time or eventually is it because I have done too much? I really have tried to be a good girlfriend for you. I don't rant how tired was I during those road trips, I tried to cut down staying in touch wit guys that are after-ing me, I stay at home most of the time and hardly go out anymore, I wanna work my ways in my career to be converted to permanent so I could get a smoother transfer to KL in later days. But I realized it's stupid to do all these because what I got in the end is not what I wanted at all.