Saturday, March 01, 2008

Scars

I remembered how I used to be so crazy in love and I lost my sanity at all times. My ex-s all were very much disturbed with me on this issue. I would want things to go my way all the time and if they refused to give in, I would then try crying and hurting myself and also tormenting them. Abusive relationships as a whole and I’m sure no guys would love their partner to be behave like I used to. Is it because of I’m spoilt since young, like how Dad and Mum give me almost everything they could and I can never stop asking for more?

I definitely would leave a deep mark in their hearts (Wyman and Skeet) and I’m pretty sure they have never met such nuisance girl like me and the worst part is they had me as their girlfriend. Time frame with Wyman is 4.5 years long, as for Skeet, it was only like a roller coaster ride as we only manage to maintain for 1.5 years. Well, I’m growing up and I really do. I used to hurt myself badly whenever I failed to win over an argument with the ex-s. I even cut my wrist so that I could obtain all the attention I ever wanted and also I want them to listen and shut up. Pretty mad, right? I scared myself too when this becoming a habit. A real awful one. I even have the habit taking photos of my bleeding wrist. How crazy can one be?





Okay. Pathetic, right? Just wanted to post this up so it could be a gentle reminder to myself how stupid and sick I was back then. It was all good now although my wrist is scarred as I'm truly glad I can control my emotions ways better than before. If I ever wanted another relationship to sink, I can try doing this again. Desmond Wong (The newbie) can never accept this fact as he's always the mature kind and to handle me and having me as his gf, he's already half dead putting in efforts. Slap me bitch if I ever going to repeat this sickening act in order to hurt myself and him. So it's going to be a big no-no...Everyone learns from mistake and I thank God my mistake doesn't cost me my life as I'm still able to revert on this.

ps: will update V's day post in a few days time.

1 comment:

KStan said...

diu...

hak 9 sei ngo...