Romance no more.

Valentines’s Day is approaching and in fact, it’s just tomorrow. Still remembered clearly how year 2007 Valentine’s was celebrated. In fact, the celebration was so superior as the memory is still fresh in my head, every second, every minute, every hour and all of those moments. However, I can never quit reminding myself there’s always a price to pay when one has been betrayed. No matter how much I love about romance, I would need to stand on the ground and be real. The word “perfect” doesn’t come in a complete package. You could have all the romance you want but you can never get assurance in your love life where you will be treated right. So what could I asked for? Nothing. If I were to least expecting for things to happen, I think I can be a happier person that way. Or at least, I learned this from my fall.

I’m attached. I know some have even put a bet on me stating that I can never be single for more than a month of two. It’s so true. Dad isn’t that happy with me as he believed I should have take some time off and mingle around than committing myself into another relationship almost immediately. I understand how he actually feels for me as I can really go insane if I’m deeply into a relationship. I can’t agree more with Dad but sometimes when the feelings are so bizarre, you would need to take the step to venture in it and see if it’s work. Hahaha. Easy said, right?

Well, the newbie Mr.BF was one of my customers from Maxis. He came with his supervisor one fine morning, signed up a phone deal and left. There’s no chemistry at all. Just a norm transaction likes others and he did come to Maxis after that for 3G settings, which I just assist accordingly. Things started to slope in was when the day I broke up with Skeet on 17/11/07, I met Mr. Newbie BF at Sincero entrance and somehow he asked for my number and I gave him a sour lemon to suck but I did offer a lil bit of comfort stating that I’ll contact him instead of vice versa, which I really did. The whole process of courtship is really short and simple but things seem to be really steady. Like tremendously steady. He’s 8 years older by difference. I know I can totally forget about romance being with him. Simply because I think he’s a very much practical person. A whole new beginning to adapt and to learn, I would say. Let's cross fingers and hope that I need not to go thru another heartbreak again and even if i do, i really have nothing much left to say...

Gone.

Yup. I have broken up with Baby Hamster. He’s no longer my baby and I wouldn’t want that calling anymore. I don’t know when it all started when the hatred has gone so strong but it was all good as I don’t want to have any connection with him at all. From my tone, I’m pretty sure everyone could guess it was a pretty bad break up. At first, it wasn’t this bad. We were still in talking terms and still care bout each other. (Maybe it was just only me having that wrong assumption). I do admit I have played a huge role in sinking this relationship. Tons of things I have done that have broken the trust and the faith he has for me but this doesn’t mean I’m allowing to be betrayed.

Dear Mr. Cheng,

Thank you for loving me for 1.5 years long. I thought you are such a rare find where you have unconditionally love me with my rather much arrogant and sick attitude as commented by others. The gifts you have showered me almost made in tears as you always said I deserve the very best from you. The memories we both shared since 12 years old up to how we got attached. As we grow to see each other’s flaws, we learned to accept those and after accepting yet we argued on those also and then we learned to accept again. Endless times we have fought and yet we have endured once after once. I know the thought of giving up is running in our minds very often, it’s just that both still wanted to try to pull through. Our relationship has lost its spark and I can’t deny I am allowing a lot of negative inputs to ruin what we had earlier on. I can never bring back those sweet moments we used to shared, you can never also made me felt the way before. I think when both have come to this stage, we have then learned and choose to let go. I really wish the break up can shape us to be better so that if our path may cross again, we have all the reasons to be together again and who knows, it may developed healthier.

That was what I had in my mind earlier and I wrote that with my assured feelings about us, before you fuckingly ruin every single thing I have for you. I was so wrong about us. Damn wrong. All these while, I have been blind-folded to be with you. Promises you made and things you have done disgusted me so much. I’m so going to take back what I have commented on us before this. Before you actually slept with that bitch. I could never imagine you doing those things to me and hurting me this much. You know what, my heart is broken. We can never be back together and so do the ruined 11 years of friendship. A final full stop to everything we used to have. Do not wish me happiness as I do not need those crappy wishes from you. I can seek for my own happiness and I'm better off without you, this I'm sure.