Thursday, June 01, 2006

My unforgetable "21st"

31 May 2006
Wyman is a past and I no longer hold any hope that we’ll be back together. It was hurtful to let him go but it was even more hurtful if I didn’t do so. I can’t forget what he had done to me when he wanted to break and coming back to me pretended as if nothing has happened in between. I am selfish. So what? Sue me-lah! I just want to chase for my happiness and now I don’t see it in Wyman anymore so there is no point pushing myself to love someone who only cares for himself. Maybe it’s not this way but he gave me such feelings.

I just welcome in Skeet into my broken life. Life has not been this gratifying I would say. Just imagine accepting someone new and adapting to a whole new relationship after being hurt tremendously by my previous own boyfriend who I love so much. It takes a lot from everything for me to accept anyone new especially Skeet. Not because he is not good enough but the fear of downfall and all the hurts caused by the previous relationship. We have known each other since we were 12 and yet we hardly made it to the good friends stage. “Life is predictably unpredictable”. From our nine years of hi and bye friendship to what we are now has made this phrase a fact. I have never envisaged that we could or even would be together and I guess he is thinking and feeling the same as I do. Am glad I have made the decision. A right decision though. A path to happiness, I assumed. Call me heartless for being able to hop into a relationship so fast but I do feel really contented being with him. After all love is very simple, so don’t complicate it. If both happy and comfortable with each other, that matters most.

This year I had the most vague birthday ever. I was still holding some feelings for Wyman and hoping he’ll be back to celebrate with me though I never had my birthday wonderfully celebrated together with him. It’s more like a final wish to see this happen. On the other hand, I wanted so much Skeet to feed me surprises as he always does so. Human is meant to be greedy at times. Any-the-way, Wyman was back from Johor to see me but he saw Skeet’s car was in my house. The story continues..bla bla bla..and on this day itself, Wyman and I had finally call it over. No turning back. No friends after break ups. Completely ending everything.

Skeet did give me a breathtaking birthday. He gave me a bouquet of sunflowers (My first time receiving flowers from him was also sunflower), a diamond ring, a dinner treat to Indulgence with my best friend, YinTheng and Fang, chocolate banana cake from Secret Recipe and etc. Thanks Skeet for treating me like a princess and making me to fall in love again. Gosh, I love this feeling…and I started to love this guy even more…