One of the many.

Yesterday night supposedly to stay at home as a trial period for myself to break free from alcohol but it did not succeed. I have been going out so relentlessly after the break up. I am as if ruining myself with the massive alcohol consumption and being so restless all the time but I just don’t understand myself why am I still continuously doing all these.
I wanted badly someone to understand me wholly and to be there to ease the aching heart but I am not even helping myself at all.

Looking on the bright side, I get to know that even without a boyfriend, a person who used to suck up all his time trying to be there for me and listen to my ranting patiently, I still have a few of the many that care for me generously. I know there are people who really care and wanted me to be good. I can’t utter more about how is life treating me, it’s like I lost someone I really love but I gained many who are loving me more than I do to myself. I can’t even be bothered if those who are treating me good have any hidden intentions, or perhaps they are just genuinely showing me the friendship values. Gawd, I think it is time to build up the tampered trust again.

Oh, have I not mentioned how I almost got into an awry conversation with my boss yesterday? I have not been a calculative person who assist doing stuff he wanted me to do all this while even without given any credits. All I ask for is just to de-allocate me from the express counter. In the midst of our conversation, I just lost it. I voice out all my dissatisfactions to him and even right now, I am not sure if he truly understands or not. I really hate the center management now, it is havoc and I am planning to move out from Ipoh. However, due to my heavy commitments, I need serious contemplative planning before jumping into conclusion.