Empty Handed

Sometimes when the emptiness creeps into my soul at late nights or the moments I caught myself alone in the room, you wish so badly that the shitty feelings will just go away. However, the more you tried to fight against it, the more you going to fall into that slump. I tried to sound chirpy and jovial when I called my current ex-bf to arrange the time and place for me getting back my iPhone on this coming weekend in KL. I can tell you frankly…it is not easy. I wished I don’t need to make that call and to listen to his voice once more.

I looked really silly. I made KF to drive me all the way to his house to get back my some of my clothes last evening after work. When we reached his house, I saw his mum sitting outside the pouch then I quickly asked KF to speed off. KF looked rather confused threw me questions like, “You cheated his money is it? You stole something from him? You played with his feelings”…I keep shaking my head and KF asked, “Then why are you so afraid to go and just take back your stuff?” Perhaps, I haven’t prepared myself for this or I just don’t want to face the fact. We headed back home empty handed.

During my slump, there are so many great friends around lending me their hands and offering me shoulders but most importantly is giving me their time as much as they could, to handle me with much care and attention. I can’t ask for more for these friends who have contributed so much so much to me. And it is just me for not being thankful to them and still keeping myself in the bad auras.