Unutterable..

I am going nuts. Assignments can give you so many shitty of feelings at times. I have turned down numerous offers of hanging out sessions from friends just because I am so hooked with my design work. Not like I am hating it but design can really eat up all my time for myself. I need a break! So I went to Mid Valley and spent RM450++ in M.A.C on Friday with Christina to release my pressure. Tak jadi to upgrade my powerbook cause I ended up in M.A.C. not MAC Apple. LOL…Got myself a basic and limited set of make up brushes, an eyebrow pencil, cream blush pot, a dark brown eye shadow and a new make over by the make up artist there. Not forgetting I received a free M.A.C. bag and TWO glitter eyeliners. I got lectured so much about the before and after steps for make up and the do’s and don’ts and GUESS WHAT? I didn’t remember a thing right after I stepped out from the shop. It was so darn complicating. I really think I need classes for all these beauty thingy.

I was so obsessed with my new make over that I almost snapshot myself for a hundred shutters. Yes, I could be so vain at times. I then mms-ed Wyman, Fang and Yin Theng my new look and told them about the money I have flung in for the sake of feeling good. As expected, Wyman complained that I spend too much on unnecessary and very soon he predicted I will be broke for don’t know how many weeks. Well dear, I am already BROKE. Fang said the look seems good to him. Actually that pic didn’t manage to show me with make up but thanks for the compliment. I need to save down his words for future reference and history review as half of my lifetime knowing Fang; he has not been saying anything positive or good about me. On the other hand, Yin Theng simply knows the best. Perhaps we are GIRLS and eventually we have this mutual understanding of feeling great by looking good.


All these feeling good finally came to an end when I was back to my apartment. What else could be so frustrating besides assignments. Need to step down the pedal and accelerate for completion. However, there is a blockage for doing so. Received a call from Dad saying he has traveled down to KL just because he quarreled with Mum and I wasted hours to listen to their trash. I don’t mean I hated my Dad or Mum (I do hate her for so many times actually) but I just don’t want to get stuck in their arguments. I am not a mind-reader or a physiologist. Don’t expect me to help because I know it will be useless. Sigh…Don’t want to mention what happened in betweens, as I don’t want myself to remember. My family is just so indescribable. No words could bring out the contents within. We never have this strong family bond or understanding for each other. I love them lots especially my brothers, I just wish there is one fine day till right to the end, we will able to spend quality time and have good time being together just like other healthy families do. Thus I need to work hard to offer them and yet I am such a terrible spender. *Blush..Blush..*

Updates...

A summarized updates about my on-goings for the past 12 days

1. Went back Ipoh. *Grin….*
2. Watched Charlie & The Chocolate Factory with Wyman. Awesome.
3. Dawdle around Ipoh. Mainly about food.
4. Came back to KL. Boring!
5. Rushing for assignments.
6. Shopped in KLCC and spent only rm25 for my lunch and camera casing. *Proud*
7. College...College...College…
8. Followed Yihua back to Ipoh again.
9. Joined Soya and the gang for clubbing session. Embarrassed myself with heels and dress while the whole gang clad with
only tees and jeans.
10. Worked on weekends and earned myself rm170 for two offered jobs from Ivan (Wyman’s football buddy). Easy money and
easy tasks.
11. Pestering Voon to get me my biotherm facial cleansing sets ASAP as my skin needs to be revitalized badly. Those jobs
need to make up and my skin can barely breathe.
12. Movie with Soya. Bewitched. Turned out to be pretty okay only.
13. Came back to KL and rotting session begins.

The Prime Minister Visit

College has this branding packaging function today and managed to invite Abdullah Badawi @ Pak Lah, Malaysia’s current Prime Minister, to launch the campaign. Was selected by Lawrence, my previous semester lecturer for Design Studies, to welcome the Mr. Prime Minister. Thought it was such an honor to be the chosen one but ended up damn disappointing. Stood at the exhibition gallery for hours with killing heels and only got to see him for 10 minutes. But distance damn near-lah, one or two steps away only. Those aggravating reporters and photographers can and will never quit tracking on Pak Lah and scooping for more pictures and jotting down things he about to say. My vision became real blur when Pak Lah passing by the entrance. Imagine all those cameras flashing non-stop and what I mean here is 20 to 30 sets of camera flashes. I wonder how many cells of mine have they killed? By the way, can’t they just leave the old man alone??? Pity him kaw-kaw. Like celebrity nia. No privacy at all. Going out to the malls also need to contemplate for a long time and can never leave home without any bodyguards to accompany. What a life! I am so glad that I am just an extra ordinary girl who leads a simple life. To conclude, I am a boring person. Hahaha.

Besides the tiring hours standing at the gallery, I still manage to mingle around the gallery having snapshooting sessions with Christina, Sarah, and Xian. CK (my Illustration lecturer who I really adore and people commented we do look alike) slipped into the flashy sessions with funny poses. Gosh, I miss seeing him in class so much. After this tired-comes-along-with-fun day, I hurried back Ipoh. The haze is worsening. This also implies I won’t be blogging till Monday, I supposed. However, I am quite lazy to blog. Hell yeah, all the assignments keep piling up and keep pouring in. Headache-NYA!

It needs not to be this way

Guess what? I found a really reasonable reason to be back home again in Ipoh for this weekend. “The HAZE!” Yay!!! Read the air pollutant index online just now and my area Bandar Bukit Puchong also can claim as an area near Putrajaya happened to trophy the third place. Jenqtat (my new-found mahjong kaki) will be back to Ipoh also. This means certainly I’ll be sleep-deprived due to the mahjong chill out sessions. Gosh. Loving it. Wish Fang will be back as well. Hardly got the time to actually chill together.

My life in KL is unbelievably chaotic. Despite the haze, those truckloads of assignments seem not going real well. I am being left behind with sketches and research to do and my acclamation of work done is in ZERO percentage. Just still not in the mood for college and believe me, am going to college for the sake of attending only. If there is any award winning for the sluggish student of the year, undoubtedly my name will be the first listed. I just hate to slug through my college life like this but then once again, I don’t seem to have a choice. But heck it, I could have just mixed myself with all those groovy clubbing hot chics to chill and care not for my studies. Damn, I just can’t! Hanging loosely without sense of directions. *Went bunny hopping to break the tense*

If life gives you lemon, made lemonade and what I mean is lots and lots of them. -> This used to be the axiom of my life but then came a “more than a stranger, less than a friend” sort of person woke me up by rephrasing the sentence. He said if life gives me lemon, say FCUK to life and made orange instead. So inspiring hor?

Balik Kampong!

Went through another lip smacking weekend back to Ipoh. Got an offered free ride back to Ipoh from Thaya, my man’s best friend. Nothing can beats the trippy happy feelings whenever I am back to my precious hometown, IPOH. Apart from the weekend routine, which is eating out the whole Ipoh, I actually went snooker-ing with Wyman and Thaya and was banned from the game after 5 mins. Wore an inappropriate outfit and accidentally outshined my cleavage. Got lectured by Wyman. Neh, not like I purposely did that!

The whole weekend was real free from restrictions. No promises for supper-waiting sessions with my man. Simple because of Wyman has decided to abandon me aside and Thaya is back in town is the attached reason. Yes, I do envy the amount of attention he put onto his best friend. It wasn’t that bad actually, I know I am exaggerating. Hehehe. Oh yeah, I finally watched The Island and trust me, it is a good movie with sense-making plot. But heck it, Soya and the gang decided not to buy my words anymore because I recommended Seven Swords to them and they find it suckie. However, I still think the movie is good and interesting. Never blame me for this, alright? *Giving a farking don’t care look* Well, I am also very eagerly anticipating to watch The Corpse Bride and Charlie & The Chocolate Factory which will be up for screening soon. Both also by Tim Burton, so there aren’t any reason for me to miss the movies.

Got to meet up with Wei Tek for a while this time. He was alcohol-ed but not at a drunk stage. Was sharing bits and pieces about his “uni”-life and also my horrendously sickening college life. I long for it to end soon but I don’t want to go out and start my working life this soon. Mum has been pestering me to start observing for jobs in KL or perhaps Singapore. She so doesn’t want me to be back to Ipoh. Bitch! She should hide herself in a corner and rot there. I don’t care. I want a long holiday after my course ends. I wanted to go HongKong for shopping spree and food hunting. Just can never get enough of those hongkish vibes.

I am BROKE again. Predictable, huh?

Attended my Design Studies class today and realized what a lousy lecturer I got to conduct the class and to teach us designs. Gosh. She speaks enormously dreadful broken English and that is completely mind disturbing and torturing. Every single word spills out from her mouth driving me to have the urge to bitch-slapping her kao-kao! She even boasted to the class about having so much of experiences in working in big companies such as Leo Burnett, Ntv7, NSTP, etc and seriously I couldn’t help myself but laughing hysterically inside. I am not trying to be mean to her but just having the thought of her working in those top leading companies with her ways of speaking broken English caused me to have uncertainties for her standards and abilities. She told us she has been changing jobs every year from Leo Burnett to Ntv7 and blah blah blah...just clinching to the reason that she was tired over her overwhelming jobs? It simply made no sense! I wonder should I better be praying hard so that she won’t get tired so fast and able to stick finish being a lecturer in order for us to graduate without any delay and mess that could caused by her. Well, I gravely hope she doesn’t read blogs or else I will undoubtedly never ever pass through this subject and getting to graduate. I would have to dig grave then…

Since she is a 24/7 tired person, the class ended rather early and we only went through a half an hour lecture on the module outlines and stuff. Yay! Set off to Sg.Wang for some window-shopping or at least that was what I had in mind at first. Spent the whole day there and eventually the window-shopping mindset had turned into a big disaster. RM500 just vanished into thin air. *WHOOSH..!* Gone. The money was contributed to some gifts I got for Soya’s birthday from Quiksilver, Biotherm facial products, food and miscellaneous. Only left RM175.82 to survive for this whole month of August and this coming Friday, my mates plan to give Red-box a visit. How to fork out money anymore when you clearly comprehend that money won’t flow in till September. Always hate it when I am broke!

Any-the-way, Wyman sms-ed and told me he had took Benji for full grooming this afternoon and that poor lil baby got freak out the moment he saw the lady taking out pairs of scissors. He even “ter”-chuck a shit out. Wyman added in saying now Benji looks more like a Terrier now than a mixture of Shih Tzu and Pomeranian. Wyman was also smart enough till he forgotten to snapshoot Benji’s pics to mms all to me. Bloody forgetful boyfriend I am having, huh? Well, can’t be complaining too much as well since he has wasted 1/3 of his working time to fetch my Benji for grooming. Okay, my boyfriend is actually a darn caring and loving man to me and to my baby! Stop the pukings in front of the screens, peeps!

Need sleep desperately now. Will blog again…

Philosophies of Carmen Yew's life.

Trouble minds, entwined emotions, shattered dreams, broken souls, etc. This is how I picture my accelerated life is about. No more such a thing called innocence or pure and naive childlike thoughts. As I grow, I grasped the fact that life has been contaminated with ambiguous of convolutions and fairy tales no longer emerge to bring hopes of contentment. However, it has not sink to the bottomless in life that I might need to give up my life yet. I will still need a longer run and a bigger capacity to actually kill myself for repeatedly believing that my life sucks and ‘rawks’ no more. Love & Hatred: The utmost intense of feelings that motivates human beings to stay and hang on and on. Either to love unconditionally or to hate entirely, it does not and would not matter anymore.

20 years of ongoings and still running on...I want a life with no regrets whenever I evoke back to my past. Yes. This is my set-to-be aspiration/guidance on how walk finish my life. And if I had to sum up my life in one word, it must and has to be "random".

Finally it has ended....

Internship has finally ended and instead of feeling triumphant by defeating boredom and stressful working hours, I felt a glimpse of reluctances of stepping out from Sil Ad. I would not deny the fact that Sa’ad Hussain is the man of the year. He taught me not only things needed to survive in the advertising field but also the purposes of driven life. Sigh, I really started to miss the team working there and really going to miss them heaps. Valerie, Paul, Mike, Dougie, Francesca, Big, Sai Kee, Mel, Mei Ling, Azrul, Dani, Alison, Pei Ling, Royston and not forgetting our office boy, Madi. Truly a bunch of fun-loving and down-to-earth sapiens excluding once in a while, one or two of them could be real exasperating and armed with wicked desirous but but but…I already left and completed my internship and the politics ended here. *Wicked laughs echo-ing…*

Ice cream FETISH

Hey peeps, I was back to Ipoh for the weekend once again and same old shit, got myself really in awe for the deliciously scrumptious food, the cool and salubrious air, the clean and crystal clear water. However, the main aspect that magnetizes me of going back Ipoh so often is non-other than my family and friends. Don’t know why can’t really click that well with my KL friends compare to the Ipoh ones. Maybe the Ipoh ones have gone through a stage in catching the sight of me growing up. Miss the companionships of Kokpin, Weitek, Moungkai, Usang, Wailoon, Kokweng and the rest. It just so pathetic and sad that everyone is being littered randomly everywhere for studies purposes. Not like last time when we used to hang out in this small town of Ipoh. Everyone is just so far away from each other pursuing dreams and goals and sometimes I do wonder will they lose themselves as in their real selves when they are in the midst of searching for their futures. I think I have lost mine.

Any-the-way, I went out for the Fantastic 4 movie with Soya and bunch of friends. It was such an enormously suckie plot. Told Wyman later on about that movie and yet he still went and watched. Geram-NYA.

On Sunday, received sms from Yin Theng, having to say she already “on” with Robin. Unsure if she has made the right choice or a very rushed up decision she got there. Worrying if she might be hurt again as she could have been forcing herself into loving someone she tend to like but not love. However, all these would not have an answer if she never attempts to try out. Praying here that Robin will treat her unbelievably good just like air flight first class service as she is farking fragile and sensitive and not forgetting farking demanding too. Hehe. That’s my girl.

Then yesterday night went out with Bel and her bunch of Taiping buddies. Ate a lot. Yes. Fat. Damn FAT. Only for dinner I had Tom yam Sotong with rice plus Thai grilled ray fish. That is lots as the portion is huge. I don’t know what has gotten into me, was very luring in eating ice-cream yesterday night also. Went to the McDonald in ss2 and only found out they serve only vanilla Sunday cone and not chocolate. Pathetic-NYA. Ended up in Uptown’s Baskin Robbins. Went home at almost one in the morning. Angered Wyman as forgotten to reply his sms and calls. Sigh, I really not in the mood for explaining. After my shower I dozed off to sleep straight off. Not trying to be mean but just dead tired and he’s 25. Should be matured enough and not getting angry at empty air.

Take it or leave it

Recently, I am being so mocked down with piles of design work. Comparing to the first week I was here with the current state, which is now is so ridiculously different. Yesterday working time has dragged till today morning. I only got to go home at 1 a.m. something and get up at 7 for work AGAIN. The work has been never ending. Those clients are so fastidious and I seem to be forever doing the same thing with different design outcomes. Getting numb to everything. How I wish that I could be anesthetized. At least, I have little time for my own than pressurizing my pea-sized brain for ideas, ideas, and more ideas. Gosh, I need a break desperately.

I have forsaken Wyman for quite some time and he already started to throw tons of complaints and all with my hectic working schedule. Baby, I can’t help it but bear with it for just another a week more as I’ll be finishing my internship real soon. You should be even more prepare that as college starts, I will be much more busier than now. I can’t possibly be spending too much with anyone or engage myself with anything for the reason that the coming semester will be my final to complete before I am landing to this brutally sick advertising line. Am still contemplating either move on with other kinds of jobs or still stick back to advertising. In the midst of regretting taking up design course but despite the pressure, actually once in a while I do enjoy what I am learning. Got to observe what others don’t notice and design is something very ORIGINAL. It somehow brings a character or characters to an individual. Interesting and yet suffering. So, it's either I take it or leave it.

Friends do come and go.

I realized I haven’t blog for 4 days. Yeaps. I am real busy lately. A lot of design work on hand and the datelines are killing. Actually at this very moment, I should be rushing for my work before the art director started to chase me. Just thought of updating my blog before I get really stuck with work. Plus, I need to pour out some disgruntlement that trapped inside my mind. From life to work, from work to relationships, from relationships to friendships, from friendships to blah blah blah. In short, I just need to talk.

I really hate this girl in my company. Luckily I am only an “intern” and prolly ending my internship within 2-3 weeks later. What I can say is she’s just another bitch next door. I can’t stand her. So, shit curse to the max and *tutt* her. Enough said.

But apart from having dreadful times in the office, I did enjoy my weekend very much. Stayed with fang and jenqtat for 3 days & 2 nights. Went to Ikea, One-Utama, Sg. Wang, Low Yat plaza, KL plaza for shopping spree. Sunday lunch was at KimGary. Oh my, I had lunch and dinners at KimGary for three times in a week already. So you could see in your mind's eye why I am always broke. Nothing can be done, as I really love and relish in eating good food.

We chatted the first night away and the second night we indulged ourselves into mahjong game for 9 hours. SIAL. We also fed each other with gossips, thoughts, visions, feelings, etc. What a girlish thing to do with the guys but I enjoy it so much or at least it helps a lot in getting to know and understand them more. Jenqtat is excusable as I only got to know him about a month ago but Fang-my best friend for years seem to have a huge gap in between our friendship.

I am not sure if this is a silly word to say or what but it just that he always seem to keep every single thing to himself. Never really open up to share, even if he does it would be skimming the surface of en edge. Last times when our circles of friends haven’t broaden up; I could feel he is always there for me and we just share every single thing. We joke, we bitch, we gossip. Although now we still doing these but surprisingly the current state of feelings that I am enduring seem to pullback of being too close. Is it because I am attached and this means I should not be this close with my guy best friend anymore? I really don’t know. My understanding towards him seems to be reducing. Maybe it is just the fact that he has another bunch of friends where he could confide in. Sigh. Hate what I am feeling right now. I shouldn’t be worrying about thing I am prohibited to worry because friends do come and go-> I have been reminding myself all the time about this phrase.

The SURREAL Darkness...

The day was so-so only. As usual, I would and should trash in complaints after complaints about my internship in Sil Ad but today I am not going to spill a word out about it. Not to mention about the boredom ness that almost slaughter me.

Previously the hard work I have chucked in a Nokia Newsletter Project finally paid off. I received two notebooks, a steel box with a military-looking sunglass inside and finally an army greenish bag. All from Nokia and branded Nokia. Amongst all the gifts, I prefer most is the bag. I’ll post these complimentary gifts pictures when I know how to operate this blog thingy, alright? It’s like so “ngam”. Remember there is an input in the blog saying that I saw a new bag that I wanted to get and here’s a bag being delivered to me and it is FREE. The difference is just the brand and this bag has more value than those others that you could purchase from the shopping precincts. I worked hard, so hard, you know, and now this bag earns a bit or less about my chapter in life. A lot of tears, sleepless nights, head jamming and tiring journeys but this gifts just won’t compensate the things I have forgo. A lil bit of anger started to lit up whenever I think about this project.

I was supposed to have this agreement on getting an internship from Ogilvy One once this project is accomplished but all out of a sudden, they cast me off from the internship list and it really infuriated me. The very lame excuse they depicted out is they can’t afford to take in so many interns at once. It is only three of us that were chosen for the project so you could actually picture out the whole thing. I may not be their well-expected copywriter but hey, bear in mind that I am not a copy-based student and I did learn so hard in order to give out the best I could to make the project happen. I felt being used and being put aside when I no longer useful to them. But hearsay, Ogilvy doesn’t pay their interns and at first I thought the company I am currently working in is very stingy as they only fork out rm300 each month for the interns but my whole perceptions totally altered now. You know what I call this? The surreal darkness in a big company. The method they apply in the market is the epitome of just-use-and-throw and they done this obliquely. *Applause…Applause*

Irrefutable kind of human nature- BiTcHiNg!

Just done with my design tasks given by my boss. Didn’t put in all my effort inside. Ain’t so sure what is happening to me lately. I just can’t quit complaining about how boring my life is and how free am I in the office. Surprisingly when piles of design workloads was set in front of me today, I eventually don’t feel like doing anything but right in the end, I did accomplish the given tasks. Done in a very inadequacy sort of creativity and quality. Today working time ended at 10 pm something and in this advertising line, it somehow implicates the meaning of early actually. Hardcore, right?

My mind is being swamped away by numerous of things at the moment. Future, relationships, family, friendships, etc. I seemingly to put myself at the very wrong place all the time and my life is so juggling, anticipating to search for the right path to follow. Damn. So many question marks and yet so many concealed answers.

There is one question that I have long to be acknowledged with. How deep one’s relationship can sink into? I have been with Wyman for almost 4 years and to be perfectly accurate, it’s 3 years 7 months 8 days. Our relationship that has encapsulated all the ups and downs of being together and not deserting our silly arguments and fights either verbally or physically has taught me so much in life. Glad to mention that this relationship has really put me through a whole process of observing and appreciating people and things in life. Thanks, Wyman. Although there are times when you really put me off from my frame of mind, I will be really empty and cold inside without you. Thanks once again for everything, especially your presence. Sorry for bitching you in front of my mates whenever we squabble but do believe me that it helps a lot in reducing inner dissatisfactions toward others. Well, I not only bitch about my own boyfriend, dad and mum also included, and friends are the most common theme to be bitched about. I just can't quit bitching about others and sometimes I do bitch about myself. Weird, right? Guess this just some irrefutable kind of human nature. *Grin* Wait, the conclusion of this questionaire is not wholly about bitching but how could a relationship be submerged right at the bottomless of an ocean? If anyone has an answer, please do feed me so I could nourish my relationship with better understandings.

Oh yeah, decision is made. I’ll endure this weekend without going back to Ipoh. Have this plan of going to Ikea with Fang on either Saturday or Sunday. Hope I won’t be tempted to purchase anything. Pray hard, kay.

The stupid & money-minded CARMEN...

The weekend trip back to Ipoh was great. Got to watch Initial D on the Saturday noon and celebrated Wyman’s birthday at the nighttime. Well, Shawn Yue is so dazzling in the movie. *Drools…* He’s the MAN! (Laughing wickedly myself in the office)

Sigh, boredom struck again ever since I am back to KL this morning. If not I also won’t be spending my time to blog here. Miss benji heaps. Think I have really neglected him for quite some time. Should bring him go grooming and pamper with him with some munchies when I got my paid and that would prolly be next month. He shall do nothing but to wait patiently. However, lately I am so tight up with my financials, as my Mac Powerbook needs an upgrade too. It was unbelievably slow and the memory is certainly not enough for my design course. Called and asked Kenny-the MAC sifu today, and he told me the upgrade would cost rm450. Damn.

The other day, was window-shopping alone in KLCC, saw a bag I damn like and it costs approximately rm250 and also wanted to change my handset since last month. DAMN…Everything I like surely cost me a bomb. Sigh over and over again, I just wish money could grow on trees. Plus I have just spent another rm130 for a Levi’s tee and two birthday cakes for Wyman on his birthday. Gosh. I have over-spent AGAIN. I actually left 300 to outlive the whole month of July. Hate it so much when I am broke. Well, once again, who actually likes to be broke, huh?

Today workloads were rather overwhelming. Stupid me. I overwrote my design files and ended up I have to rush up my three-days-took-to-complete-design into a 10 minutes-sure-die-rush-up design. Some parts are not well cropped and some of the colors damn “jeng”. Sigh; hope my boss won’t notice my clumsiness and also the mistakes. I don’t really want to leave a bad impression towards him. But then, I really don’t understand why he will only appears whenever I done silly things or mistakes and when I have the flaming passion in designing a what-so-ever, he would either absent to work or went out to meet clients. Moody now.

Wish I were back to Ipoh again. Hey people, don’t start shit cursing me about being so homesick where the fact is I just came back from Ipoh this morning. I just love plain love IPOH. Referring to the fact that I have just over-spent this month, I afraid that I might suffer insufficient cash to go back Ipoh. The trips charges made me headache. People, I want money and I need money.

...Clubbing brings JOY... *(An expired post)

Please…Anyone… DO KILL ME! I am so god-damn-ridiculous-bored…Never in my stage of life, I have felt this way. Waking up at 7am during weekdays just to drive to work and getting stuck in traffic congestions for like an hour just to reach my working place. Gosh. I nearly got myself and the passengers (friends who followed) killed for twice just because I can’t focus wholly to my driving. There is none other than the reason of sleep deprivation. Thanks to that Mr.Lim Qian Fang’s TVB drama series. However, without those I won’t be able to survive the nights all alone. Once I got to work, I’ll sit and online and read newspapers and repeatedly doing the same thing over and over again till 6pm so I could go home. Every day’s lunch is none other than mamak food. This sort of sickening working culture will only ends in a month later. Plus, I am too lazy to loiter around during night times due to my working time schedule. Damn it.

In spite of this, things aren’t this bad after all. I still manage to go back to Ipoh every single weekend without fail. Big-big hugs and berry-berry smooches to my very understanding grandma and aunt that is so kind enough to persuade my parents to let me stay in KL during weekdays and weekends in Ipoh. The travel expenses are quite costly and the trips are freaking tiring but to me, it does worth a lot. At least, I get to meet Wyman and spend some quality time together although at times he would ditch me off for his football games and me ditching him off for my shopping sprees with my mates. So, it is a fair play!

Wyman's birthday is really NEAR. 3 July. Already passed him his birthday present. Got him a pair of 35th adidas anniversaries series superstar. Cost me more than 300 bucks but knew he will drool all over for the gift and hell yeah, he did drool. Planning to throw a birthday party for him but thinking back he didn't even seem to do anything and care for my birthday, I think I'll just greet him only-lah. I always learn to forgive but never forget. TOO BAD HOR? Will see how. Can't promise a thing also. Actually wanted to upload pics to this blog but using mac and the system doesn't have sufficient applications to download. Sigh. So troublesome ler...

*Last Saturday night was a great night. For the very first time having to see both my best friends, Regina and Fang, indulging themselves with liquors in y2k. Their pinkish + drunkish faces look so retard especially there’s a scene where Regina hugging the lamppost. I also bumped into a long lost friend who is also my high school crush in the pub and he doesn’t seem to recognize me at all. I don’t blame him; he has last seen me for about 5 years ago? I felt bad when I was talking to him and checking out my boyfriend simultaneously to ensure he is not fixing his sight towards me. It was a quick chat. That’s it. Nothing big and I also don’t want to upset Wyman about my history. When the night almost came to an end, Wyman was awfully drunk and he begged me for a ciggie. I am not an intolerable girlfriend after all and I let him smoke that night. Though I really hate it when he smokes but I know once in a while, I just need to give and take. By the end of the night, Wyman was too drunk to drive and I took over the wheels. Manual car. Challenging. Don’t worry, accident-free.

*- I haven’t own a blog yet when this happened. But would really love to share this piece out and the moral of this story is Clubbing brings JOY!-> Just goofing, kay!

Marriage-> What a thinking...

My very FIRST TIME blogging! Ain't sure if I will have the passion to blog everyday but as for the current state, it is good enough to put me off from sleeping in the office. I wonder if I could ever survive these two months of internship. However, two weeks passed by already and here am I, still breathing and kicking. So assuming that I should and will be doing just all right.

My mind now seems so unsettled yet and tangling with myriads of confusions. I am so confused about my future. After going through two weeks of working life- I found out I don't quite suit the working time and also the culture. Very stressful. Everyone is chasing after datelines and the workloads are so overwhelming. I really doubt if I could do well and earn myself a fortune in this field. Plus I don't label myself as a very creative person because I always run out of ideas and I am just plain LAZY...It's impossible for me to stay in this line if my time management is still this bad. Gotta work out something...

The other day, marriage fantasies suddenly crossed my mind. Yes, I know I am just 20 but this doesn't mean I don't have the rights to think about it and my most own-self-thought-appropriate-marriage-year is still age 26. Six years from now. Plus, my boyfriend's friend just got married last Saturday and the incident flickers my mind to start the planning now than just waiting for the right time to happen. It doesn't have to be a grand wedding but it has to be good enough to receive everyone's blessings. When I brought up this topic to my boyfriend, Wyman, yesterday night..we seem to have completely different mindsets. It really cut down my hope for that. Well, who knows maybe in the future I will be marrying to someone else and I am not surprise if I am staying single till I get old-> but of course I don't wish that to happen to me. After all, life is so unpredictable. Sigh... Let's just drop off this issue for the time being. If years and years later I still blog and for those who still checking my blog out, then most probably I'll feed you with an answer.