I must have learned to love myself.

Life is predictably unpredictable. Wyman came back for me. I really don’t know how to deal with my feelings anymore. Perhaps in my whole entire life, I held my own confidence too high above and when he uttered the word “break”, I collapsed completely having the feeling of an enormous fall. A total loss to everything been owned and given to me. As I begin to patch up my tormented life, he came back. He assumes we could be back together just like last time. He assumes that the hurtful break off has never happened. He assumes that my hurts has all been cured. All his assumptions did not grant me an assurance anymore. An assurance that I am going to take him back and pretend things will be at its moderate mode. Yes, we are back together but something is missed in betweens. The deep hole inside my heart. The wound that has caused so much pain.

If Keet wouldn’t have interfered into my life, I have no doubts and confusions at all into accepting Wyman back. No one has any idea how painful was I during the breaking off moment. Friends and close buddies did a lot to try to cheer me up and I do really appreciate them with the things they offered me. Time especially. Days and nights keeping me accompany, making sure that I am doing alright. Thanks so much peeps for everything. However in all of all, Keet has took up the extra mile in taking care of my feelings. He’s always just a phone call away. I like the way he cares for me and allowing me to be myself. The Teluk Batik trip was indeed a comforting sensation. Apart from the crying and shouting in the car, I enjoyed the loosen-up sense on the beach. Even the second time I went with him, my sense remain as loose as it may allow but with a little thing in extra. This extra little thing is so dangling with multiplicity of feelings. I may have a little feel or more for Keet. Is him just a bounce back or what? I can’t answer myself this.

At this moment, I just want things to go naturally. No point pushing myself towards the wall and not allocating myself to breathe.